PaddleYou » PaddleYou Presents the Arnold Schwarzenegger Ping Pong Challenge

PaddleYou Presents the Arnold Schwarzenegger Ping Pong Challenge

On January 28, 2014

For the last few weeks, Bud Light has been running teasers for their Super Bowl commercial of Arnold Schwarzenegger playing ping pong. The 15 second spots say that Arnold is #UPFORWHATEVER and to be ready for Super Bowl Sunday.

The commercials raised a lot of questions: Is Arnold good at table tennis? Who is Arnold playing against? How much Bud Light could Arnold drink?

But one question stuck in our minds, which Arnold character would be the best ping pong player? Instead of just wondering, we decided to put it to the test and are proud to announce the Arnold Schwarzenegger Ping Pong Tournament!

We found 16 of Arnold’s most memorable calendars, ranked them based on their Rotten Tomatoes scores (for the most part) and pitted them against each other to answer this generation defining question. Of course, we made them all their own custom ping pong paddles (just like you can make) so that we don’t get confused by all the Arnolds, and everyone is playing with the same game-improving PaddleYou technology.

Today we’re going to get to the semifinals and then we’ll leave it to you to vote for which Schwarzenegger advances, then Friday we’ll announce the finals and you can spend all Super Bowl weekend debating which Arnold has the table tennis skills to be the best.

The Heavy Lifting Round

(1) Terminator vs (8) Twins
In the quest to create the perfect child, a genetics experiment gone wrong creates fraternal twins played by Arnold and Danny Devito. While Arnold is the “perfect twin,” we find it hard to believe anyone who is Danny Devito’s twin could be that good at table tennis…especially compared to a robot (and we know ping pong robots can be pretty good). Terminator Arnold advances.

(4) Hercules in New York vs (5) Governor
The classic matchup between Arnold’s first movie and his biggest non-movie role. Sure, Hercules in New York Arnold is a physical specimen compared to cigar smoking Arnold, but it seems like Hercules Arnold would be a little too muscle bound to compete.

(3) Pumping Iron vs (6) Batman & Robin
Sure, Pumping Iron Arnold was giant (at least as big as the Hercules in New York version), but he still had more mobility than Mr. Freeze and his giant suit. Sorry Freeze, you’re getting YOUR ice kicked.

(2) Predator vs (7) Kindergarten Cop
UPSET ALERT: Both these Arnolds are very resourceful, but Kindergarten Cop Arnold is willing to have a little fun. Ping pong = fun. Kindergarten Cop = winner.

(1) Total Recall vs (8) Junior
Pregnant (YES PREGNANT) Arnold stands zero chances against the reality shifting Total Recall Schwarzenegger. No, we’re not going to broach the subject of three-breasted breast feeding.

(4) True Lies vs (5) Expendables
These are pretty much the same version of Arnold, but in different eras, so we’re going with age over experience. True Lies Arnold would run Expendables Arnold off the table without breaking a sweat.

(3) Running Man vs (6) Last Action Hero
In Running Man, Schwarzenegger is running and fighting for his life the entire movie. Not part of it, but the entire time. We don’t even know if the Last Action Hero is real, so how could he ever beat Running Man.

(2) Conan vs (7) Jingle All the Way
Jingle All the Way Arnold would do anything for his kid, and we’d bet that if his kid asked him to win a ping pong match for him, Arnold would put up a good fight, but Conan given Conan’s sword skills, we think his paddle control would be excellent and he’d be a star

The Hollywood Quarterfinals

(1) Terminator vs (5) Governor
Maybe the most iconic and important moments of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s career go head to head. On the one hand Governor Arnold showed that the man has smarts, can strategize, and solve problems–all really helpful in a serious table tennis match. On the other hand, the Terminator has lightning fast reflexes and can travel through time. Sorry Governor, your approval ratings aren’t the only thing that dropped quickly.

(3) Pumping Iron vs (7) Kindergarten Cop
Pumping Iron Arnold was Mr. Universe, Mr. Olympia, and just a hulk of a man. People around the world marveled at his physique and he became a star thanks to his body. By the time he was the Kindergarten Cop, sure, Arnold had lost some definition and spoke slightly better English, but the big difference was how he moved. Kindergarten Cop Arnold was running all over the place while looking a little leaner. Kindergarten Cop would keep Pumping Iron Arnold moving around, while also outsmarting him. The moral of the story, stay in school, and you can move on like Kindergarten Cop Arnold.

(1) Total Recall vs (4) True Lies
Working in True Lies Arnold’s favor here is that you never know what he is thinking (so he can trick you on the ping pong table) and his cover identity is a computer salesman (and we know the tech industry loves table tennis). Total Recall Arnonld lives in a dream world where anything is possible, and if we know Arnold how we think we know Arnold, in his dreams, he’s the worlds greatest table tennis player.

(2) Conan vs (3) Running Man
This is a really tough matchup because both of these Arnolds are tough as nails and they’re probably a wash physically. The mental edge goes to Running Man Arnold who is more evasive and cunning. Conan Arnold is driven by revenge, which can lead to a table tennis player making a lot of mistakes and unforced errors with so much on his mind. All that said, we can’t get over the swordsmanship of Conan Arnold. Your strokes are the key to your game, and no one has strokes like Conan.

The Political Semis

We’re down to our final four Arnolds fighting for ping pong supremacy and now it’s your turn to help us decide. We’ll preview the two semifinal matchups, but your votes will determine which Arnolds will face off in the finals.

(1) Terminator vs (7) Kindergarten Cop
Terminator Arnold is a robot. He can time travel. Would he go back in time for a rematch if he lost? Could he instantly be turned into the perfect ping pong player? Would he speak at all during the match? We don’t know.

Kindergarten Cop Arnold will go to any length to get the outcome he needs, even teach kindergarteners. Someone like Kindergarten Cop Arnold would spend months training for this ping pong tournament, hire coaches, talk to experts, study tapes, play warmups. The man is dedicated, but would it be enough.

(1) Total Recall vs (2) Conan
The biggest question of this map is where (or even when) does it take place. Are we playing in space, atop a mountain, or just a table in a basement? Are we in Conan’s distant past, Total Recall’s dystopian near future, or today? These are the questions that need to be answered people. Conan obviously has the better paddle skills, but Total Recall Schwarzenegger could be using technology for training that we’ve never even imagined.

So who will advance to the Arnold Bowl and have the chance to be PaddleYou’s best ping pong playing Arnold Schwarzenegger of all time? Only you can decide by voting below. Friday January 31, we’ll announce the finals and open the voting for Super Bowl weekend. Don’t forget to design and share your own ping pong paddle NOW for only $29 and let the Arnolding begin!


High quality bracket

Comments are closed.